1. Don’t Fall in Love Too Easily
By nature we are loving people — we want to love and be loved. It is a normal thing. The problem is not loving a person that you have developed feelings for. The problem is falling in love too easily.
Before two people become lovers, they must be friends. Friends know each other. Friends will help each other because they care for each other. If you don’t know your partner, when the relationship hits a rock it’ll fall to pieces.
Don’t let your eyes deceive you. Don’t look at the cover of a book and be satisfied with it because it’s appealing. Open the book to see the pages inside and know more about it.
Before you fall in love, take some time to get to know your would-be lover. Falling in love too easily is the biggest cause of breakups. Be careful with your heart. Take good care of it.
Don’t fall for anyone until you are sure they are the right person to fall in love with.
2. Don’t Withhold Important Things
During the initial period of a relationship or before a relationship starts — the friendship stage — it’s important to let the other person know who you are. This includes telling them things about your past, even ones that might be sensitive. Of course, it doesn’t mean you need to tell them everything about yourself right away. No. If they like you, then they’ll want to know more about you.
If you don’t talk about these things (which can sometimes be difficult), and they later find out, it’s possible that you will break up.
For example, let’s say a woman can’t have children for one reason or another. It’s important that she let her partner know this early on. If they break up with her because of it, at least it happened before they were too closely bonded with one another. It will hurt, but it won’t be as painful as it would have been later on.
3. Your Partner Will Let You Down
No matter how great your partner is, they are going to let you down at some point. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t trust them at all — just that you should trust them knowing they are imperfect like you. So even though you love them, when it comes to matters of the heart, you shouldn’t give your partner the whole of your heart. You should reserve a part of it for yourself.
In the absence of trust, there is no love. If you love your partner, you trust them. So be realistic about what they can do. Even if you don’t break up, you’re going to have conflicts that will make you lose your trust in them. If you believe they will never let you down, you’re going to get hurt.
4. Don’t Have Your Life Revolve Around Your Partner
One thing that often happens when people are in relationships is that they begin to focus too much on their partner. Family members and friends are put aside as if they don’t mean very much — never mind that before you were in a relationship, they meant everything to you.
Remember that you are an individual with your own life. No one can fulfill your destiny. You’re the one in control of the steering wheel. What about your goals? Did they die once you fell in love? Does your partner mean more to you than everything and everyone? If you think so, then you’re deceiving yourself.
When you pin all your hopes and dreams on your partner, you forget to think about yourself and you begin living life to please your partner. This is a mistake. It’s true that relationships require commitment, and sacrifice, but they shouldn’t come at the expense of neglecting yourself and ignoring others.
5. Address Sensitive Issues
You need to address sensitive issues early on before they become problematic. Does he smoke and you don’t like it? Tell him. Does she do drugs and you’re not comfortable with it? Tell her. Does he appear possessive? Let him know.
Don’t think that things will change later on their own. It is better to address issues early on before they become troublesome. Tell your partner the behaviors or attitudes that are bothering you so they can try to fix it or come to some sort of compromise. Everyone has weaknesses, but that’s not an excuse for not working on anything.
It is better to let your partner know early on what kind of behaviors you won’t tolerate. If you notice something at the beginning, that is the right time to deal with it.
6. Communication
For a relationship to stay strong there must be good communication between partners. Lack of communication is one of the biggest factors that lead to breakups and divorces.
However, early on in the relationship you shouldn’t communicate for too long or too often. If you communicate on a daily basis, you’ll become too familiar with each other and you’ll get bored.
It is said that familiarity breeds contempt. If you are texting a lot, you should vary the texts that you send daily or the response time including calls. Getting used to something or somebody will make you loathe or get tired of them or they getting tired of you leading to the end of the relationship.
Sometimes it is not the lack of communication that is the problem. It’s the effectiveness. How often do you communicate with your partner, and how do you do it? Do you talk a lot face-to-face? When a problem arises in the relationship, does it affect your communication? If yes, to what degree?
Figuring out your own strengths and weaknesses surrounding communication will help you know better what kinds of problems to look out for and how to help your partner talk to you.
7. Looks Can Be Deceiving
You’ve probably heard the saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” Though the cover of a person might appeal to you, what about the contents? Do they still hold your appeal? It doesn’t mean that all attractive people are deceivers, it’s just that the outside of anything always deceives. What matters is the heart — not looks or physical appearance.
So don’t go after looks. Go after the real person. This means you need to get to know the person before you give them a share of your heart. If you fall in love with someone because of the way they look, you didn’t really fall in love. It was only passion that led you to think you’d fallen in love with them. Love doesn’t look at the outward appearance of a person, but at the heart.
The next time you come across someone attractive, assess them first and then you can determine whether you want to get into a relationship with them.
8. Be Open About Money Issues
Be honest with your partner about money because finances can make or break a relationship. It is imperative that you discuss money with your partner. How will you manage your finances if you get married? How will you divide your salaries?
If you don’t earn very much you should let your partner know. If they decide to leave you, then you’ll know that they don’t love you.
Also, be cautious with your money unless you like to waste it. You may be called stingy, but as long as you know you’re saving it for a worthy cause and you don’t want to misuse it, then don’t be discouraged by what other people think.
9. They Won’t Make You Happy
Some people get into a relationship in order to feel happy. They believe that if they get into the right one, they will feel joyful or delighted.
This is far from true. A relationship will not make you happy or fulfill you.
source http://tasboy.com/what-you-should-learn-from-your-breakups/
No comments:
Post a Comment