[1] They don’t value their own life or their business:
I think people will make time for the things they value. I know I do.
My friend who lost his foot didn’t value his own life. I really have to believe that. The accountant didn’t value her business.
[2] They have a fear of success:
This is a well-known one. I can think of things I’ve avoided for fear of success. However, as far as I can tell, it’s really fear of the unknown.
Whenever I had avoided something early in life, it was because I didn’t know the outcome. Somewhere along the way I started to notice that things always turned out okay. That gave me the courage to get involved with new and unknown things.
The main problem I see with people who fear success is that they are hoping it will all work out anyway – all by itself – one way or the other.
Hoping for a better tomorrow without doing anything to correct the problems of today, will never bring change. I try to tell friends this, but they still continue with hope and despair.
[3] They are in denial:
Denial interferes with the ability to act rationally.
I had a female friend who told me her boyfriend proposed to her. From a previous discussion with him, I knew that he was going to want to live off her money. I warned her against marrying him. I even reminded her that she overheard the way he was talking about it. Nevertheless, she was in denial and refused to believe the truth.
A month after the wedding she called me, crying, and said they had a fight. I asked what happened. She told me he wanted her to pay all the bills. His reasoning was that they are living in her apartment so she should pay all the bills. Imagine that?
[4] They don’t have a time perspective:
They have no clue of time span. These are the same people who are always late. Have you ever noticed that people who arrive late and keep people waiting also never succeed in achieving something that’s important to them in their own lives?
In order to accomplish tasks, we need to have a clear vision of how long it will take. Then we need to plan each step to fit the allotted time available.
If we ignore the problem and just let time pass, or if we don’t clearly figure out how long it will take to get from A to B, then we are doomed for failure.
I see this problem with some friends who say they understand what I’m telling them to do. They agree that it sounds like a solution to their dilemma. The only problem is, the next time I talk with them, they still haven’t started and the end is near.
[5] They want approval for doing things wrong:
I think this is the worst of all. An acquaintance I’ve known through my social circles once called and asked for help. She said she is being arrested.
I asked for details so that I can know how to help her. She explained that her boyfriend broke up with her and that she was calling him several times a day leaving messages asking for an explanation.
He had put out a restraining order and she still continued, so he put out a warrant for her arrest.
I responded with one simple question. I said, “I need to understand something, do you want me to help you?”
I needed to be sure that she indeedwanted help. She said she did.
Therefore, I proceeded to tell her what to do. I said, “Just stop. Stop calling him. Stop thinking about him. Stop and move on.”
She was extremely disappointed with me. She said she was hoping I would defend her and support her feelings. Instead she felt that I was attacking her.
Oh, feelings. I feel for her. I feel for all my friends who don’t listen and suffer because of it. Don’t you? I have love and compassion when it fits, but I believe in tough love when they are going down hill and need to be woken up.
My only intention is to guide a friend to a better place. Many times they take it as an attack if I don’t give them approval for the ways that are failing for them. How strange is that?
There are times when we must back off and realize that they don’t want help. They just want approval for failure.
source http://tasboy.com/lets-talk-about-fear-fear-for-everything/
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