The science of relationships and happiness

My parents met their sophomore year of college at Olivet Nazarene University. Despite busy class schedules, athletic commitments, and very different social circles, they managed to continue dating until March 21, 1994 when my dad got down on one knee and proposed. Twenty-two years later they are still together and have never been happier.

With the divorce rate in our country currently at 50%, I began to wonder how my parents have stayed together for so long. Is there something fundamentally different about couples that stay together versus relationships that crumble with time? How could they still be so happy after over twenty years?

My parents on their wedding day
Love Over Time

Relationships and happiness are two concepts that often (hopefully) go hand in hand. Having a partner to support you is arguably one of the most enjoyable experiences in life. As someone who is currently in a long-term relationship, I can attest that the amount of happiness you feel tends to fluctuate. Despite what Hallmark would like its viewers to believe, not every relationship is a fairytale where nothing bad ever happens.

However, for the most part, one should feel happy in a relationship, otherwise what’s the point? I can say with confidence that I am very much in love with my boyfriend however it’s a choice every day to keep loving him, especially when he’s too sarcastic for his own good. I believe that our relationship has actually improved over time, and luckily science seems to agree with me.

As researchers Claire Kamp and Paul Amato1 discuss in their article

“Consequence of Relationship Status and Quality for Subjective Well-Being,” with time comes commitment. Subjects in the study were segregated into groups based on relationship status such as casual dating, cohabitating, married, and single. After extensive self-report questionnaires, researchers concluded that as time goes on, and the relationship gets more serious, so does the amount of happiness for both partners. My boyfriend and I have been dating long enough to know that there are times where we get on the other’s nerves but we make the conscious choice to keep loving the other because in the long run, no one makes me happier.

Eighty Years Later
Now armed with the knowledge that relationships can improve menta l well-being with time, I began to wonder if love can affect
physical well-being as well. Since being healthy is directly related to increased levels of positive affect, it seemed logical to conclude that if love can enrich one’s physical condition, then one’s happiness would stand to improve as well. Harvard Professor

Robert Waldinger 2 answers this very question in one of history’s longest research studies ever conducted, tracking the health of 268 Harvard sophomores in 1938. After following the men for nearly 80 years, the researchers concluded that relationships do in fact have a powerful influence over our health and aging.

The data show that those with strong relationships experienced less mental deterioration with age as compared to the control group. Waldinger concluded his report stating “the people who were most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80.”

source http://tasboy.com/the-science-of-relationships-and-happiness-2/