Marriage is one of the biggest steps a couple can take which will impact the rest of their lives from the wedding day forward. It is important to take time in making a decision about your potential spouse.
It is equally important to know yourself and what issues you bring to the union. Living together may not necessarily answer all of the questions and concerns, nor ease the fears you have about taking that step. We now know the research indicates otherwise. But there are steps you can take to increase your chances of success at committing to cohabitation or marriage.
Here are some points to consider before making the decision to live together before getting married:
1. Be clear about your reasons for moving into together; is it about convenience, dependency, financial or personal gain or to alleviate a crisis; or is it about obligation or gratitude. Your initial motives may determine success or failure.
2. Be certain that both of you are on the same page with your intent to marry; an empty promise or a statement made on a whim or in the heat of the moment can lead to painful misunderstandings.
3. Consider pre-marital counseling to work through pre-existing issues that may go unresolved into the living situation and eventually into the marriage; explore goals and dreams as individuals and as a couple.
4. Explore differences and similarities between your values and religious beliefs regarding marriage; seek understanding of each other’s role expectations as partners.
5. Establish a sense of your own independence and identity before “living as married” or sharing space with anyone; having a sense of who you are as two people will probably make you stronger as individuals, and thus, more successful in your capacities to have more insight, compassion, and unconditional love for each other’s differences.
source http://tasboy.com/consider-the-following-before-moving-in-together-3/
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