A mother will always be a mother to you woman..

other’s Day. Every year as it approaches, I start to contemplate more than usual the relationship that my mother and I share. We’ve come a long way, but had so far to go that we’ve never gotten there. I don’t believe that we ever will. Anything is possible, of course. But just as there are unbreakable bonds, there are un-bondable breaks. Repair is often incomplete.

As any child does, young old or in between, I love my mother. My mother loves me. I know that now, even if I didn’t always. It’s just that we’ve become such different people apart than we likely would have been together. To try and shoehorn these two women back into a mold that never quite fit feels forced. We weren’t physically separated for any significant period of time, but there was profound emotional disconnect.

I must admit, the close mother-daughter relationship is one of which I’ve found myself envious. I have friends who talk to their moms every day and tell them everything — even the bad, even those things of which they are ashamed. They call each other just to chat and laugh. They go shopping and to movies together. They swap advice and share secrets. I know women who consider their mothers to be emotional rocks. They’ve always called mom when sad or in trouble, for help, comfort and a shoulder to cry on.

I see this and think I may have missed something important. I will never be who I might have been with such maternal nurturing. Perhaps we both could have been better versions of ourselves — My mother if she’d had a daughter that made her feel adequate and revered, and me, if I felt heard, protected and championed by my mother. Then we could have been better as a unit. Unconditional love can lift you to new heights. I imagine what we may have become had each of us felt like a person of interest in the life of the other.

I could have tried harder with my mother, but the desire wasn’t there. I was set in our normal. It was more comfortable to pull away than push forward.

So, here I am. Independent sometimes to a fault. Consciously averting my propensity to walk alone. Learning how to ask for help and accept assistance when it’s offered. I’ve broken myself down in order to rebuild someone emotionally healthy enough to cultivate the life I imagine and authentic connection I desire. I feel I’ve found much of what was lost along my journey to this point.

Still, there will always be at least a small void there, right? It will always be a bit morose in that unoccupied space reserved for mommy and me. Some of the emptiness can be filled with good friends and their families who embrace you as their own. It helps. I’m grateful to have this. However, we all know it’s not the same.

Many say it’s never too late. They’ll tell you to pick up the phone and start building that relationship that you never had. They don’t understand, that as time passes some things are left behind. We can start again from here but all that came before remains.

The mother-daughter dynamic is one that develops organically, as beautiful as it is complex. In most cases, we don’t meet later in life, learn each other and decide to establish a rapport. We are usually born into the bond that is either weakened or strengthened over time.
Ordinarily, it’s fine. The relationship as it stands is all you know. Can’t miss what you’ve never had. But in those rare moments when you do realize or witness what you’ve been deprived of, a part of you wishes to have it.

source http://tasboy.com/a-mother-will-always-be-a-mother-to-you-woman/