10 Ways to Stop Feeling Guilty About Breaking up

1. Make a firm decision about your breakup and your feelings for your ex.
2. Get rid of breakup guilt by acknowledging that you were honest and direct when you ended the relationship.
3. Remind yourself of the reasons you broke up with him or her.
4. Think about your ex’s flaws and bad habits.
5. Think of the breakup as a favor to your ex.
6. Be practical—the relationship just wasn’t meant to be.
7. Stop feeling guilty by realizing that your ex will move on.
8. Be kind to yourself—relationships are a two-way street.
9. Think of all the sacrifices you made before deciding to end the relationship.
10. Think of your breakup guilt as a natural human reaction—because it is.
Don’t allow yourself to be consumed by breakup guilt! Read on for some tips and tricks to overcome post-breakup feelings of guilt. |
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1. Make a firm decision about your breakup and your feelings for your ex.
It is very easy to be lost in breakup guilt if you remain uncertain about your feelings for your ex. Be firm about your decision to break up; otherwise you will be sucked into the emotional turmoil of guilt and regret.
It’s easy to sit back and ruminate on the reasons you broke up—maybe you were too harsh, or you didn’t really think things through. This window of opportunity you have given yourself that leads to doubt and self-criticism will only further your feeling of guilt.
You will continue to feel guilty about dumping someone if you stop believing in yourself and start questioning your motivation for dumping them in the first place. To put this simply, you must trust yourself.
Tell yourself that whatever decision you have made is in the best interest of everyone involved. The temporary pain and guilt you feel in the aftermath of a breakup is nothing compared to how you’d feel if you allowed yourself to bounce back and forth between certainty and uncertainty about your decision to break up with the other person. Just trust that you did the right thing!
2. Get rid of breakup guilt by acknowledging that you were honest and direct when you ended the relationship.
Feel good about the tough stand you have taken in your relationship because it is definitely not easy to tell someone you don’t love them anymore. There’s pain and discomfort on both ends of a breakup. Everyone sympathizes with someone who has just been dumped, but the person who has initiated the breakup deserves a lot of credit for being honest and direct.
It is not easy to break someone’s heart, even if it is the right thing to do. Think about how much worse it would be if you just “sucked it up” and stuck around in a relationship that made you unhappy. That doesn’t make much sense, does it? Well, that’s what an astounding number of people end up doing when they know things aren’t working out.
Pat yourself on the back for being brave and mustering the courage to be honest about how you felt because not everyone has the strength to do what you did.
Did being with your ex make you feel constantly frustrated and alone? Don’t let the guilt you’re feeling make you forget about the reasons you left in the first place. | Source
3. Remind yourself of the reasons you broke up with him or her.
A breakup can be caused by the smallest of issues between partners that escalates into a big, life-changing problem. Think of the reasons that compelled you to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Did you break up because neither of you were unable to stop feeling jealous over each other’s exes?
Were you forced to break up because neither of you could see a long-term future for your relationship?
Was your breakup the result of a lack of intimacy?
When you start to feel the pain and discomfort of being alone in your post-break-up state, remind yourself of the reasons you left the relationship in the first place. It’s easy to think things “weren’t so bad” or to tell yourself “maybe I was wrong,” but before you jump back into a relationship with the person you just dumped or let yourself feel guilty about the breakup, you should really think about why you left. Remind yourself of the core reasons that led to the split if you want to stop blaming yourself for your breakup.
4. Think about your ex’s flaws and bad habits.
This goes hand-in-hand with the previous point—why did you dump your girlfriend or boyfriend? Was it because she was flirting with others, or was it because he couldn’t stop looking at other women? Was it because she was too clingy, or was it because he was being abusive towards you?
Even if your relationship ended for other reasons or if it wasn’t really anybody’s fault in particular, thinking about your ex-partner’s flaws will help you get back on track emotionally (if you have to think about them at all, that is).
Re-examine all your ex’s flaws and bad habits so that you don’t blame yourself for taking the relationship to a breaking point.
Was constant fighting one of the reasons you decided to end the relationship? Think about the good reasons you had for ending things before you allow yourself to be eaten alive by guilt. |
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5. Think of the breakup as a favor to your ex.
You could have run away from the responsibility of breaking up fair and square by seeing someone else behind your partner’s back. You could have continued lying to your boyfriend or girlfriend about your feelings. You could have manipulated your partner by still being in the relationship just for materialistic benefits. You could have pretended to love him or her just so that you could continue physical intimacy with your ex. But you did not do any of this, and you decided to tell it like it is.
However angry, hurt, or betrayed your ex feels about the end of your relationship, you should certainly be able to find comfort in the fact that you were honest and did the mature and responsible thing by ending the relationship before either one of you could feel any more pain.
However nasty it may have seemed, you did the right thing by breaking up with your partner if you had lost all hope in the relationship. You may seem like the bad person temporarily, but deep down inside, you should remind yourself that you did your ex a favor by bringing a quick end to your relationship. Your breakup could have felt similar to that of a painful and agonizing death if you had prolonged the inevitable.
6. Be practical—the relationship just wasn’t meant to be.
You may have jumped into a relationship just because you were too smitten about falling in love with your crush. But time may have revealed that his or her company was the total opposite of what you were expecting.
Maybe your goals for the future weren’t aligned, or you were incompatible for some other reason. You did your best and tried to make it work, but some relationships just aren’t meant to be, no matter how badly one or both of you wants it to work.
Stop feeling guilty about breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend by looking at your relationship as one that just wasn’t meant to be. You can try your best to alter the path of a bad relationship, but all your efforts will be futile if the relationship has no future at all.

source http://tasboy.com/10-ways-to-stop-feeling-guilty-about-breaking-up-3/