Here’s what you can do to prep for 2020 now:

Girl!! love yourself first

I understand how you must be feeling – desperate for closure, envious of those living a fulfilling single life and loving it, and clueless about where to start on your journey to letting go of the person who haunts you and has consistently failed to give your rare and beautiful heart what it needs.

That was me for what felt like endless months.
And I have no idea what happened, but I’ve been feeling pretty peaceful and good about myself these last few days. It’s a foreign feeling – like the time I suffered through a stomach bug from hell and then woke up one morning feeling all better and intent on actually going to the bathroom without an escort. But alas, I passed out and busted my chin. So I’m a little worried this peaceful feeling is going to end with a metaphorical passing out and chin busting, but confidently assuming it’s not, here’s my story and what I want to say to you about yours.

I’ve always been fiercely independent. While everyone was busy dating and getting hung up on the male species in middle and high school, I was busy writing, doing my geometry homework, going to the beach with my friends, and generally being young and free of responsibility. I had crushes and disappointments, sure. But my low bullshit tolerance never let me hang my head too much. I didn’t need a boyfriend. Kissing looked awkward and a little gross. Breakups didn’t seem too much fun. I had moments of wondering about and wanting romance, intimacy, and a special someone, for I’ve always been a bit of a hopeless romantic. But it just never panned out for me, and I ultimately had greater things to worry about.

But last year, I fell in love for the first time. He was one of my best friends, but he had trouble and damaged goods written all over him. For whatever reason, I was hardly swayed and became wrapped around his beautiful finger within weeks. We were crazy about each other. We talked every single day and entertained the idea of adventures and a life together. I fell hard, fast and completely. And in case I haven’t foreshadowed enough, I’ll skip the gory details and confirm that he indeed broke my heart into a million pieces.

I struggled with it more than I’ve ever struggled with anything in my entire life. It was like someone died. It was like losing a limb. It was like being locked in a basement and slowly tortured every day. There was a lot of cliché and gross behavior, such as Googling articles about heartbreak, crying on the bathroom floor, not eating my dinner (or taking two hours to eat it), and blowing up his phone with my misery and need to feel heard. It all feels ridiculous and irrational in retrospect.

But when our hearts are broken and our minds are clouded, we do things that don’t make sense.
We hurt ourselves more. We spiral. We live with false hope. We make poor decisions. We fail and hold ourselves back because life feels strangely cold and meaningless without the warmth of that one person. I was surrounded by love, support and opportunity, but all I wanted was him. As hard as I tried to stop wanting him – to quit him like a crack addict trying to quit crack – the more I began to doubt it would ever happen. The prospect of feeling sad and miserable for the rest of my life didn’t seem very inviting. It was a cruel reality, and I lived it every day for months and months.

So what happened, you may ask? After 6 long months of riding a roller coaster of feelings and experiences that were all intricately connected to him, how did I snatch myself up by the collar and decide that I needed myself more than I needed him? I’d hate to be vague or underwhelming, but it kind of just happened.

I finally got fed up. Something snapped. Something clicked. I was nearly drowning in the aftermath of yet another painful, terrible and cruel fight when my head suddenly broke the surface and I could breathe again. And just like that, bad memories rolling through my head like thunder and the desire to be free pumping through my veins like blood, I was done. I was done settling for less.

I was done giving one human permission to make me feel small and miserable.
I was done wasting my own time and breaking my own heart. I was done apologizing for having feelings and standards for how to be treated. I was done sabotaging myself and dragging him down with me.

I’m admittedly a bit skeptical of this mental breakthrough. It’s like seeing the sun peep through the clouds, but only focusing on the clouds and waiting for that first raindrop to splatter. But so far, so good. It’s been days since this revelation, yet I feel happier, braver and more at peace than I have in quite some time. I don’t really know what’s happening. Maybe I’ve finally developed a tolerance, a thicker skin, and a stronger resolve. Maybe a guardian angel has her hand on my shoulder. Maybe I no longer have room in my heart and life for such senseless pain. Maybe I hit rock bottom and the only place left to go was up. All I know is that I feel amazing and very protective of this newfound feeling.

I will always care about this person and want him in my life in some capacity, but right now, I can honestly say that I care more about me than I do about him. I’m putting myself first.
I don’t know how your story is going to end and how your heart is going to figur9e out how to start beating again. I don’t know the depth of your love for him, and I don’t know the depth of your pain. I certainly don’t know if anything I’ve said or will say will help in the slightest, because I know how it feels to read piece after piece about healing and growth and feel nothing. But here it goes…

He doesn’t stand a chance. There is a quiet resilience locked away somewhere deep inside of you, and it’s looking for just the right moment to come through – the perfect crack to escape from. The pain may seem endless. You may believe that you’ll never recover from it. But in reality, it’s just going to take a hell of a lot of time. Sometimes months. Sometimes years. Sometimes decades (I hope it doesn’t take a decade.)

Progress is never linear. It will come in waves. It will come in pieces. It may even come when you least expect it. But you have to want it. You have to want it way more than you want him. You have to want more for yourself. You have to open your eyes and see everything else life and the world has to offer you. You have to get really fed up and do a lot of forgiving for the both of you. You have to find what’s really missing here. (Spoiler alert: he’s not even remotely what’s missing.) You have to dig deeper.

Find yourself. Find your people. Find your passion. Find therapy. Find religion. Find your happy place. Find your path in life. Find your brain. Find logic. Find the truth.
Every chapter has to close at some point. Every story and every feeling inevitably comes to an end. Life is always going to highly consist of making changes, letting things go, and starting over. Your pain will pass. The person who couldn’t give you his time and attention when you were willing to give him the world will become a speck in your rear view mirror and a shadowy blur in the back of your mind. One day you will realize that you only had him for a brief time, but that you’ll always have yourself. And when everything else falls apart and away, you absolutely must look out for yourself.

Then, and only then, will you learn how to love yourself more than you ever loved him.

source http://tasboy.com/girl-love-yourself-first-2/

How to keep your relationship on track

Your partnership will go through lulls at times but knowing how to keep a relationship going will keep it on track. Here’s how you can do that.

Nobody’s relationship is perfect. Even if you have a really healthy partnership, you can still go through lulls where you might feel like you’re losing your partner. Knowing how to keep a relationship going strong will help you get right back to your happy selves.

The difference between a relationship that’s getting stale and the end of a relationship is what you do about the boredom you both feel. When you notice that your relationship is slowly slipping away, you need to take action in order to save it. You can’t just sit back and hope it fixes itself.

Boredom kills many relationships

The truth of the matter is that a lot of relationships end because both people stop trying. Relationships are a lot of work. You don’t just get to sit back and enjoy the ride. That ride is only enjoyable if you make it so and that means putting forth some effort to keep it fun.

Your relationship only gets boring if you stop trying to have fun. And that feeling of boredom often leads to the feeling of your partner slipping away. You can easily save a relationship and ensure its longevity by simply trying. 

How to keep a relationship going

If you feel like your relationship is stuck in a rut and it’s slowly slipping away, you’ll want to know how to keep a relationship going. Here are the way you can make an effort and hold on to your relationship. You may even be able to make it better than it’s ever been before.

#1 TALK to each other. 

Why do couples not communicate? It’s always mind-blowing to hear when people are having issues in their relationship and yet they’ve never told their partner what they’re unhappy about. Talk to each other. Communicate. It’s the easiest way to solve your problems. 

#2 Figure out the issue. 

Now that you’re actually talking to each other, pinpoint the problem. What’s something that’s messing up your relationship and making it feel as though it’s slipping away? Both of you need to come clean about what you’re unhappy with in order to find this problem.

#3 Plan date nights. 

Even if you live together, you need date nights. You have to spend time with one another in order to nurture your relationship. Simply going through the motions will make your relationship boring and unhealthy. Plan the date nights so you can ensure you’ll get that time together.

#4 Enjoy each other’s company without distractions. 

Yes, put your phone away. Just be together without any added distractions. Go for a walk to get some ice cream and leave the phones behind. Head to the beach and just talk to each other as you bask in the sun. This isn’t a hard thing to do and it’s necessary for the health of your relationship. 

#5 Try to surprise your partner. 

This will help keep your relationship going more than you’d think. When you actually try to surprise your partner, you start thinking about what they like and dislike and the different ways you can make them happy. That alone will kick start your feeling for them again and you’ll want to do more things to make them happy.

#6 Make sure they know how much you appreciate them. 

Tell them. Show them. Do whatever you can to make them realize how much you love having them in your life. Otherwise, how should they know?

They can’t read your mind. It’s your responsibility to make sure they know how you feel about them every single day. Yes, every day. If you want to know how to keep a relationship going, be grateful for them and show it.

#7 Spice up your sex life.

 A boring sex life could very well be the issue with the two of you. Many couples form their intimacy in the bedroom. If you feel a disconnect, it might be because your sex life is lacking. Spice it up and see if it makes a difference.

#8 Treat it like a new relationship. 

Remember all the cute things you did for each other when you first started dating? Why don’t you do those things anymore? Sure, the initial enthusiasm has worn off but you still care about them. You still want to see them happy.

#9 Admit that you’re personally somewhat responsible. 

I can almost hear you denying it right now but it’s true. If your relationship is falling apart, it’s somewhat your fault and also your partner’s fault. You can always be doing something more to fix things.

Come clean with yourself. Own up to the fact that you could be the problem. Both of you could be. But in order to fix it, you need to first acknowledge that you’re part of a bigger problem. 

#10 Learn something new together. 

Couples bond a lot deeper when they’re learning something new together. Being in the same starting position with something will help you find common ground when you feel your relationship starting to slip away. Take some cooking classes. Go to a pottery place and pay for lessons. These things could add a fun layer to your relationship, too.

#11 Be present in their lives. 

You might be saying that you are present in their lives but this could be wrong. Just being in someone’s life doesn’t mean you’re present. You have to actively be a part of their life. Ask about their family. Ask about their friends. Be a part of their life.

#12 Get someone else’s opinion. 

Sometimes it’s hard for you to see the problems yourselves. If you have a friend who’s around the two of you a lot, ask them if they’ve noticed anything. They might be able to pinpoint something that neither of you can see.

You may also want some professional help. Go see a relationship counselor and get their take on your issues. Find out if your relationship is salvageable and what it takes to save it. 

#13 Be silly together. 

Just be goofy. Don’t take things too seriously. You’ll have a lot more fun together and having fun always leads to a happier, healthier relationship. When you’re both in a good mood, you’ll be more willing to open up about issues and just communicate in general.

#14 Remember why you care about them. 

Think back to the very beginning of your relationship. Why were you so drawn to that person? Chances are, those things still exist. You’ve just been blinded by time and have grown accustomed to those things. Picking out the things you like and making an effort to see them can help.

#15 Make the relationship your priority. 

This is just mandatory. A relationship isn’t something you can have on the side. Not a good one, anyway. Therefore, you have to make it a priority. You’ll need to make an effort to keep your relationship in tiptop shape and that’ll save it from ever slipping away.

source http://tasboy.com/how-to-keep-your-relationship-on-track-2/

Catch them cheating in the act..

10 Ingenious Ways To Catch A Cheating Partner In The Act!

Does your instinct tell you your lover is cheating on you? Use these 18 discreet ways on how to catch a cheating partner to catch them red handed!

Is your partner cheating on you?

There are just two ways to get the nagging worry out of your head. One, you talk about it with your lover and get a convincing answer from them. Or secondly, you sneak around discreetly and try to get some proof of your partner’s philandering ways *if any*.

If you feel insecure in a relationship, always talk to your partner and tell them what you feel. Sometimes, it may just be a silly misunderstanding. And communication always helps sort things out, even if one of you is on the verge of looking out for an affair. But if your doubts don’t get erased even after the conversation, then perhaps, the only way to get the real answers is by snooping around and looking for clues when your partner is too busy doing their own thing.

10 ingenious ways to catch a cheating partner

Confronting a serial cheater or a guiltless cheater never helps, because no matter how much you cry or remind them how much you love them, they’re just too selfish to think about anyone but themselves. So instead of confronting your lover every night, take it easy and let your partner assume that all is well and forgotten.

After all, you can’t catch a cheating lover when they’re being cautious and on guard. Just pretend like everything’s normal and watch how your partner behaves around you over the next few weeks.

Once your partner thinks you don’t suspect them anymore, use these 18 signs and ways to catch a cheating partner to catch your lover in the act!

#1 Watch the signs.

 Do you see a change in your partner’s behavior recently? Have they started working out, dressing better, or started using a new seductive intense evening perfume? They may have no reason for the changes, and almost always, these changes may seem very spontaneous.

#2 Drop by unannounced. 

Every now and then, drop by unannounced to their workplace or come back home early. Don’t make it obvious that you’re just spying on them. Instead, always have a great excuse to walk in unannounced. If your partner is cheating on you, the first thing they’d do *instead of welcoming you with a smile* is hide something or appear surprised or even angry!

#3 Check their recycle bin. 

The garbage is a great place to dispose of things. And sometimes, it also has a lot of clues. If your partner is on the computer often, check the computer’s recycle bin often. Chances are, there may be another person’s photo or a little snippet of information that could be of some use.

#4 Snoop on their phone.

 Does your partner carry their cell phone with them wherever they go, even if it’s a trip to the loo? If that’s happening in your relationship, there’s a good chance your partner’s up to something. Take a peek into their cell phone when you get the chance, especially when they’ve put the phone on charge.

Erased phone logs, a password protected phone, several calls to the same unknown numbers, or phone bills without detailed call information are all good signs that your partner is trying to hide something. 

#5 Spontaneous sex. 

This works better if you’re a girl, and dating a guy. If your boyfriend or husband comes home late from any unexpected delay, try to have spontaneous sex with them when they get back home. If your guy gets angry, pushes you away or tries avoiding it at all costs, chances are, he may be exhausted down there. He could always wash himself up before getting home, but getting it up immediately and blowing a huge load, that’s not the easiest thing to do!

#6 Follow after a fight. 

Most cheating partners intentionally try to pick fights, slam the door and walk away, because it makes a great excuse to slip out of the house and meet their adulterous lover. If your partner’s been picking fights and walking out of the house often recently, try to follow them on the pretense of apologizing *if they see you following them*. 

#7 Change your sleeping habits. 

If your partner’s cheating on you, their sleeping habits may change almost overnight. They may stay up longer using the excuse of work, or you may catch them sneaking around the house late at night. Pretend like you’re asleep as soon as you hit the bed, and try to see if your partner’s up to something. Do they get out of bed for long periods of time?

And it’s not just late nights you need to think about. Some cheating partners may even wake up really early and get on the phone, especially if they realize you suspect them.

#8 Does your partner want space? 

Space is something all of us need in a relationship, whether we accept it or not. But has your partner started getting fiercely protective about their space recently? Do they hate answering questions about where they’ve been or what they’ve been up to? It’s definitely a small warning sign. 

#9 They get jumpy. 

Try walking in on your partner when they least expect it without announcing yourself, especially if they’ve been by themselves for a while. Does your partner act jumpy or nervous when you walk in on them, especially if they’re over the phone or in front of their computer? They were probably doing something and they don’t want you to know what it was.

#10 Changes in schedule. 

All of a sudden, your partner may stay out a lot of nights on work, or have a lot of get-togethers on their social calendar with their friends. If your partner doesn’t ever invite you with their friends, or if they claim to be very busy working and still look fresh and happy when they get home, your partner’s probably up to something. 

source http://tasboy.com/catch-them-cheating-in-the-act/

How do you tell when your guy gat feelings for his Ex

1. He talks about her all the time. If your boyfriend keeps bringing up his ex, that could be a sign, he still has feelings for them. Even if he’s mad at his ex and complains, the fact that they’re on his mind is a red flag.

2. He’s active in his ex’s social media. If you’re over somebody, you don’t like everything they post. It’s another sign that the ex is on his mind.

3. He uses his ex’s name by mistake. Ouch! If he calls you by his ex’s name once, maybe let it slide. If it happens again, time to wonder if he hasn’t moved on.

4. He compares you to his ex. That’s just rude. And also a sign he’s still into his ex.

5. He won’t introduce you to friends he has in common with his ex. If he won’t introduce you to friends who know his ex, it may be because he doesn’t want the old relationship to be over

source http://tasboy.com/how-do-you-tell-when-your-guy-gat-feelings-for-his-ex-2/

Is it the time to quit your relationship?

Should I Leave the Relationship?
If your score fell into the Not Really Worth It or
What Relationship? categories, it seems as though your current romantic relationship might be a big hassle . You have picked a partner who creates stressful and chaotic situations for you. If you feel that to be true, make an appointment with a relationship counselor or psychologist and take this list with you. Use this chance to learn more about yourself and to enhance the meaning of your own life. It’s time for you to work on you!

This exercise might lead you to believe that it’s time to leave your partner. If you are married and have children, remember to think about them first before you make any big changes. Whatever your situation, it’s important to realize that it takes two people to create a great relationship. You cannot change it and make it exciting and meaningful without your partner onboard.

I Want Out! How Should I Leave My Boyfriend or Girlfriend?
If you’re actually getting ready to cut your partner loose, here’s something to think about: You don’t have to put someone down or scold them in order to go. You can just leave and move on.

When ending a relationship—whether it went on for many years or was for just a few months—you should be respectful of your soon-to-be-ex and be honest with them. Set aside a time to talk in person and let them know of your decision in a direct manner. Try not to insult, blame or belittle them—instead, use “I” statements and explain how you are feeling.

Afterward, they will surely have something to say. Listen to them respectfully, but don’t take back your decision. You decided to break up with them for a reason, so don’t get caught up in the heat of the moment and take them back.

If You Are a Victim of Domestic Violence
Your personal health and safety are most important. If you suspect that you are in an abusive relationship, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) and seek help.

How Do I Know If I’m in an Abusive Relationship?
Domestic violence and abuse is a serious issue that can affect anyone regardless of race, gender, or economic status. It is not restricted to acts of physical violence—partners can be emotionally and economically abusive as well. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline , domestic abuse is “a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship.”
Here are a few sign

source http://tasboy.com/is-it-the-time-to-quit-your-relationship/

Consider the following before moving in together

Marriage is one of the biggest steps a couple can take which will impact the rest of their lives from the wedding day forward. It is important to take time in making a decision about your potential spouse.

It is equally important to know yourself and what issues you bring to the union. Living together may not necessarily answer all of the questions and concerns, nor ease the fears you have about taking that step. We now know the research indicates otherwise. But there are steps you can take to increase your chances of success at committing to cohabitation or marriage.

Here are some points to consider before making the decision to live together before getting married:

1. Be clear about your reasons for moving into together; is it about convenience, dependency, financial or personal gain or to alleviate a crisis; or is it about obligation or gratitude. Your initial motives may determine success or failure.

2. Be certain that both of you are on the same page with your intent to marry; an empty promise or a statement made on a whim or in the heat of the moment can lead to painful misunderstandings.

3. Consider pre-marital counseling to work through pre-existing issues that may go unresolved into the living situation and eventually into the marriage; explore goals and dreams as individuals and as a couple.

4. Explore differences and similarities between your values and religious beliefs regarding marriage; seek understanding of each other’s role expectations as partners.

5. Establish a sense of your own independence and identity before “living as married” or sharing space with anyone; having a sense of who you are as two people will probably make you stronger as individuals, and thus, more successful in your capacities to have more insight, compassion, and unconditional love for each other’s differences.

source http://tasboy.com/consider-the-following-before-moving-in-together-3/

How to show love to him/her

Learn how to Show Love
This is a concept, while simple in design, is both complex to understand and difficult to implement. This is something that can overcome relationship problems and turn those problems into everlasting bonds.

Everyone feels loved in different ways. While your concept of love may contain roses and flowers, anothers concept of love finds those things demeaning. The first step in creating a successful marriage or in saving your marriage is to learn how to understand.

Think about what your partner values. Write their values down, get it on paper, make it concrete. This is something that you absolutely need to know – this is the core of who your partner is. What is it about them that they are passionate about? What do their core beliefs hold? If they could only live with three nonessential things, what would they be?

Once you’ve understood their values and core beliefs, then you can begin to get a true picture of who they are. Sure, you may think you know a lot about the person, but surprisingly, most don’t. Take time to have that conversation with them, to learn about them, and then, to learn about how they need to feel loved.

Now that you know what their core values are, you can use that knowledge to understand how they need to feel loved. Some people respond more to gifts, others to actions.

For example, a lady might get all excited because a man has bought her a card out of the blue and wrote a personal message inside. However, that man, if he received such a gift, would glance at it and it would soon be forgotten.

But, if that lady bought a man a gift card for a hardware store, and then surprised him by taking him there, he might get all excited about it and to him, that shows him that he’s loved.
Words of love, actions of love, touch, gifts, time – these are all different ways that people can feel loved. Take the time to understand how your partner needs to feel loved. Realize that how they need to feel loved is different than how you need to feel it, and then appreciate that. Make a conscious choice everyday to follow through with what you’ve learned.

When people ask “How can I fix my relationship problems?”, this is the one thing that can be done that will have the most impact. Understanding is the key to a successful relationship.

source http://tasboy.com/how-to-show-love-to-him-her-3/

3 Main Causes of Relationship Anxiety

1. Lost Trust
One of the most common causes of anxiety in any relationship is when your trust in the other person has been broken. Whether it is from an unfulfilled promise, infidelity, or another kind of betrayal, when you no longer trust your partner, the vision of your future together can be turned on its head. That sense of uncertainty about your situation and suspicion of your partner is a major cause of mental stress, which will lead to a chronic sense of anxiety about your relationship.

2. No Communication
Open communication is the most important determining factor for the success of a couple, so when communication is lacking or has broken down in a relationship, anxiety can start to build. If you can’t express your feelings to your partner, you may be forced to hold in your feelings of sadness, disappointment, and anger towards your partner. Not being able to share your perspective with your partner can also be a very lonely experience. All these negative feelings will build up and cause you to question yourself, your relationship, and your partner, leading to high levels of anxiety.

3. Chronic Negativity
Maintaining a positive outlook will help you build a successful life and career. The same applies to your relationships. Approaching your partner with a positive attitude can do wonders for the long-term success of your relationship. On the flip side, relationships that are chronically negative are stressful and will cause one or both partners to feel anxious about the relationship. Negative attitudes can include passive-aggressive “jokes,” criticism, and communicating with a hostile or negative tone.

source http://tasboy.com/3-main-causes-of-relationship-anxiety-2/

How to win your lover’s affection

How to Get More Affection From Your Boyfriend
There are two basic ways that can help you get the emotional support you need in a relationship.

1. Ask him about it. Bring it up in a non-confrontational way and tell him about the needs that you have in a relationship.

2. Give him the kind of love that you would like to receive back, regardless of how you feel about his lack of affection. There’s a chance he will reciprocate automatically.
If you’ve tried to get back the spark, shown him all the love that you can, and told him how you feel, and things still don’t change, then waiting for affection is going to be a long and tiresome task.

Being in a loving relationship means that your partner knows you well and understands by now that you need affection, love, and adoration. If the positive attributes are just not enough, the only thing left to do is to understand that you deserve to be loved and adored, and there will be someone out there that is willing to put you on a pedestal and shower you with affection.

Having to try to get his attention all the time means that he really is not that interested. It’s time to move on.

Basic Ways to Show Affection
If you’re a husband or boyfriend and wondering what you can do to show more affection, here are some good places to start. It can be learned, but it does take time if it is something that you have never experienced.

Hug and kiss your wife or girlfriend every morning when you wake up

Kiss her before you leave for work

Ask her how she is doing and listen to what she has to say
Hold her hand when you are walking
Give her a hug while she is washing the dishes
In the bedroom, many women appreciate emotional intimacy. It’s a crucial part of feeling connected and wanting to be close physically. In bed, let her know how much you admire her, give her a massage, or hold her before being intimate.

Never roll over and go to bed after an intimate moment! Give her a kiss or a hug, let her rest her head on your shoulder, and take some time to communicate with her.
Women need to feel loved and even if you do it once a day, it is important to show her that you do love her. All it takes is one kiss, one hug, or one question about her day.

source http://tasboy.com/how-to-win-your-lovers-affection/

Ways to make your girlfriend feel loved and happy

A perfect relationship is never one sided. When you make the effort to please your girlfriend and make her happy, she’ll involuntarily put in her effort at making you happier in love if she truly loves you back.

So the next time you’re with your special girl, instead of holding back, give more. In mutual love, every loving act gives back more happiness to both lovers.

For starters, use these 20 tips on how to make your girlfriend happy to pamper her and please her. And I’ll tell you this, you’ll definitely be the winner in the game of love.

#1 Surprise her with memorable gifts. Make sure you never forget your girlfriend’s special occasions, however trivial they may seem to you. And every now and then, show just how much you love her by giving her a memorable gift of love, be it a bling thing or a priceless gift like a heartfelt letter of love. 

#2 Make her friends envy her. All of us want our relationships to be perfect, but very few of us actually work towards making it perfect. Treat your girlfriend with love and affection, and pay attention to all her needs, especially when she’s around her friends. When her friends notice how good a catch you are, her heart will swell with pride and happiness, and you’ll feel like a real smooth talker too!

#3 Get along with her friends and family. To a girl, her family and her close friends mean everything, because she shares all the intimate details of her life with them. And to a large extent, she listens to her friends and takes their opinions seriously. So make an effort to get along with her friends and treat them well. She’ll be happy to see that you’re a big hit with her loved ones.

#4 Don’t ignore her when she’s with you. Make your girlfriend feel like she’s the center of your world all the time, and especially so when she’s with you. Don’t ignore her because you’re having a fun conversation with another attractive girl or are distracted by something else. When your girlfriend is around you, it doesn’t matter who or what is around, make sure your attention is focused on your girl. 

#5 Respect her opinions. As humans, respect plays a big part in how we feel about ourselves. When we feel disrespected by someone important to us, we feel miserable. And this holds the same effect in relationships too. Don’t dismiss your girlfriend’s opinions and ideas without listening to her, and don’t take her lightly just because *she’s a girl*. In a relationship, both partners have to learn to listen to each other and respect each other’s point of view.

#6 Ask her for help. You may be a big, fully grown man. But that shouldn’t stop you from asking your girl for help now and then. By letting your girlfriend see your vulnerable, helpless side, she’d feel closer to you because you aren’t afraid of showing your weaknesses to her.

#7 Compromise for her. Every now and then, compromise your wants for her needs. If she wants to watch a romantic movie while you want to watch something else, give in to her now and then. When she sees how you’re willing to give up something you like just to please her, it’ll only make her feel more loved and happy. 

#8 Cuddle up with her at home. Do you end up getting turned on each time you hug your girlfriend or kiss her for a few minutes? That’s understandable. But at least once a day, hug her tight and cuddle with her while watching the telly or when both of you are lying in bed. For a girl, a few hugs and sweet kisses feel just as special as a good round of passionate sex.

source http://tasboy.com/ways-to-make-your-girlfriend-feel-loved-and-happy-2/

He might do the following but mean otherwise

Other Things He Might Do and What They Could Mean
1. If he picks you up: When a guy picks you up, he’s trying to get close to you and show off his strength.

2. Hugs you : There are many different kinds of hugs. They can range from the endearing long hug, or side hugs that barely touch you at all. In general, the longer the hug, the more intimate. Shy guys might be too afraid to give you a real hug even though they want to, so a side hug from them is not necessarily an indication that they are into you.

3. Touches you with his head : He might rest his head in your lap, on your forehead, or on your shoulder. Each of these indicates that he’s comfortable with you and trusts you.

4. Interlocks fingers with you while holding hands : The hands are a safe place. Interlocking fingers is a way to bond and test the waters of a new romance, and can indicate that he cares about you. It also could be a friendly gesture among close friends, like you’re scared walking through a pitch dark place.

5. Touches you all the time : If a guy is touching you all the time and can’t keep his hands off you,he is likely very into you.

6. Touches his face, hair, or neck while he’s talking to you : Touching his face or neck could be a sign that he is nervous around you. Translation: he’s totally digging you. Or he’s just really fidgety.

7. Touches you with his feet : Playing footsie = playing flirtsie.

source http://tasboy.com/he-might-do-the-following-but-mean-otherwise/

Thats not friendship..thats love

Flirting can mean many behaviors including but not limited to buying someone a drink, giving compliments, non-sexual hugging, and playful banter between platonic friends.

Flirting is only “harmless” when you’re comfortable telling each other about it without feeling shame, anxiety, or fear. The minute you realize that you feel uncomfortable or even slightly guilty about telling each other about your harmless flirting, it’s a big red flag that something more serious is going on.

A healthy relationship is all about mutual respect, and flirting causes strain in a relationship usually because partners underestimate the stress caused by feelings of jealousy or insecurities triggered by their behavior. So if you choose to commit to each other, you need to agree on appropriate behavior towards people outside of your relationship.

source http://tasboy.com/thats-not-friendship-thats-love/

Should your late night thoughts cause you concern?

There are two ways to look at this. And it entirely depends upon the types of thoughts you’re having and whether they’re recurring or not. For most people, it’s a case of eating too much cheese before bed, or spending too much time on Netflix. However, if your thoughts are due to worries affecting your day to day life and invading your sleep too, it’s time to take action.

We all have worries, but some are worse than others. I’ll tell you my personal story and then you’ll understand why I’m quite so passionate about this late night thoughts issue.

I have suffered from anxiety my whole life. Sometimes it peaks and sometimes it doesn’t, but it’s always there, bubbling under the surface. I always know when my anxiety is about to peak because I start running through a million disaster theories before bed.

Most of these theories have an extremely low chance of ever happening, but at the time, I’m pretty sure I’m going to lose all monetary employment, my house is going to fall down, or my hair going to fall out.

Can you see how ridiculous it all sounds?

The thing is, when you’re in the moment, when it’s dark, it’s quiet, and everyone else is sleeping, these thoughts can prey on your mind. What you need to realize however, and something which freed me from my late night funk, is that it’s all rooted in fear.

Don’t let the fear eat you

Fear will eat you alive if you allow it to do so, and when the world is sleeping, everything seems more terrifying. The late night thoughts suddenly go from simple thoughts to facts, and it can be enough to stop you from sleeping.

The other issue here is that sleep deprivation is a real thing. If you’ve ever suffered a few bad nights of sleep, you’ll know how groggy, completely off your game, and agitated you feel. Imagine that over the course of a week or so!

Late night thoughts are harmless in general, but when they start to invade your sleep and even stop you from getting a good night of shut-eye, it’s time explore where these thoughts are coming from, break them down, and figure out whether there is something you need to do in order to push them away from your life.

Why do we have random late night thoughts?

Scientists really don’t have a solid answer on why a very random thought invades your mind when the sun goes down and the stars are out. It can be something going on in your life at that moment, or it can be something so unbelievably random that you don’t want to tell anyone for fear of them thinking you’re crazy.

Of course, you’re not going crazy, and it’s probably down to a very simple reason. Some of the most common reasons for random late night thoughts are:

source http://tasboy.com/should-your-late-night-thoughts-cause-you-concern/

THE SIX PILLARS OF INNER BALANCE

HOW TO KEEP YOUR EQUILIBRIUM.

Many people are building their inner balance and happiness on one single pillar. This is a dangerous situation!

What’s going to sustain them if for some reason the only pillar they rest upon collapses? There are six pillars that support your inner balance. If you want to live a life of inner calm and peace, don’t just lean on one or two pillars, but make sure to invest in all six of them. When you are resting on six pillars and one of them crumbles, there will be no need for drama. You can still support yourself with the other five pillars while you start repairing the one that broke down.

Compare it to a table. Which one will be the most solid one : the one with only one or the one with six legs? Do you think a table resting on only one leg will be stable? Would you dare to put you cup of coffee on it? How do you dare to put your whole life then on one and only pillar?

What are these six pillars that support inner balance?

Your intimate relationship
A warm, supportive, nourishing and loving relationship with that significant other, will substantially contribute to your inner balance and happiness. Be careful, however, not to bet all your money on this one pillar alone, while neglecting the others! If your happiness depends completely on your relationship, then you are taking a big risk: what will you do when your partner is gone? When that significant other leaves, dies, or loves somebody else, your entire life will collapse because you have nothing else to support you. Don’t link your happiness to just one person!

Your job
A meaningful job where you can express your talents is a valuable source of well being. However, what would happen if you put all of your time and energy in your job, and then some day your employer dismisses you? Your world will fall apart and you are headed for a serious depression. Does it feel like you are married to your job? It is too dangerous to entirely identify yourself with your job without paying attention to the other pillars. You are much more than your business card!

Your children
God knows it’s a wonderful gift to have children. I have four of them myself and every day I thank the Universe for choosing me as their mother. But what happens if you focus too much on your children? A parent who lives only for his children will suffocate them. He puts too much pressure on the child, which then feels obliged to live up to the parent’s expectations. The child may feel solely responsible for fulfilling the need for love and affection of the parent. This is a burden too heavy for any child to bear, and it jeopardizes the child’s free development and individuality. One day the children will leave to start their own life somewhere else. If your children are your only pillar of happiness, then your whole world will fall apart. What’s left is emptiness, depression, dependency, and trying to make the grown-up children feel guilty for not caring enough about their parents. Don’t take your kids hostage. They are entitled to a life of their own.

Your house and material possessions
Creating and enjoying a beautiful house brings a lot of pleasure into your life, but what are the dangers of making property your most important life goal? When it’s all about having, buying and possessing “stuff,” the only guarantee you have is that of dissatisfaction. You don’t know how much stuff you need to possess before you will find peace, and therefore you will never find it. There is no end to “having”. As long as you are convinced you need to have things in order to be happy, you will be restless and a slave of your own attitude. Being rich is okay, of course, but it should not be a goal in itself, otherwise you are doomed to be unhappy, always waiting until you possess another car, another house, more money, more stuff, … Not a good recipe for happiness!

Meditation
Meditation is good, you say! Of course it is! But what if all you do is meditate, and hope everything will be fine? You will get not much satisfaction or happiness that way. You will feel useless and restless. Your body needs action, and your energy needs a goal to strive for, so that it can flow through your veins and direct your life. Meditation only will get you nowhere. There’s more to life!

Your friends
Good friends are essential. They are the pepper and salt that give taste to life. They share your experiences and make them worth living. They give you feedback and back you up when you need help. But what if you need to share everything with them? They have their own life, their own experiences to live. Relying on friends for every single thing you do is a ticket for disaster. You need to be able to sometimes do things by yourself. If your friends leave you or break up with you, and they are everything your life is built upon, then your world will fall apart.

I think you are getting my point: every pillar is good and a valid source of energy and happiness , but it’s dangerous to rely too heavily on only one of them . Leaning on your relationship too much makes you dependent on the other. Identifying with your job too much transforms you into a workaholic. Chasing after material possessions makes you a materialist. Relying on your kids too much suffocates them. Thinking meditation will fulfil all your needs makes you an isolated stranger. Relying on your friends too much makes you a needy person, always turning to somebody else for rescue.

You will however find inner balance in the combination of all these aspects. Every one of them can be a source of happiness, as long as you enjoy each of them with moderation. Do you have kids? Wonderful! But don’t forget to also invest some time in your relationship, your work, your friends, your house and your inner silence.

You have a good job?
Great, but do take time to play with your kids, to spend some romantic time with your partner, to go out and have fun with your friends, to take care of your house and to meditate.

You are a meditation fan?
Don’t forget to clean the house, to help the kids with school, to do your job, to meet your friends and to listen to your partner when he comes back from work.

You invest a lot of time and energy in your house and other material possessions?

Fine! Just don’t forget to spend some time with your children, your partner, your friends, enjoy your work and meditate!

You are committed to freedom and friends?

Ok, no problem! Now balance your life by taking some time to experience the inner silence, to play with your kids (or somebody else’s), to invest in a particular loving relationship (even if it scares you), to take care of your house and possessions and to excel at your job.

You love someone and that person loves you back?
Great! Now don’t forget about your friends, your job, your children (or someone else’s), your house and your inner silence, if you want this relationship to last!

Imagine a peace temple, built on six pillars. If your personal peace temple is supported by one pillar only, then surely the first tornado that comes along will bring it all down! Too dangerous!

The stability of your temple depends on the support of all six pillars. If one of the pillars is temporarily out of service, nothing catastrophic will happen because you still have the five other pillars to carry you on.

If you lose your job, but you still have five other solid pillars to hold you up, you will find the strength to find a new job. Your children are leaving the house? No panic! You still have five other pillars to support your temple! One of your friends has let you down? Your significant other has left you? You have to leave your house? You will be able to handle all of this, if you can revert to other pillars that continue to support you.

Don’t build your happiness on one pillar, but invest in the solid combination of all six of them.
Everybody knows about the importance of a balanced diet, as well as the danger of an overdose! In the same way, your inner peace depends on your ability to find the right balance between the six pillars.

source http://tasboy.com/the-six-pillars-of-inner-balance/

YOUR PERSONAL HAPPINESS FORMULA

CREATE HAPPINESS ON PURPOSE!

Your life may seem difficult, heavy and meaningless. But at some point in your life, like everybody, you too have got moments where you were so close to your real you, that you thought you were in heaven. You were so perfectly aligned with yourself and your mission on earth that you felt the magic of life . You said “all is well.” In this article I will help you to discover your own secret success formula, so you can create those magic moments on purpose.

Close your eyes for a minute and view your life as in a movie, from your childhood until now. What are the moments that jump out? When did you feel fantastic? When did you have the feeling that life is beautiful? That you were so happy and light that you felt afloat? These are extraordinary moments were you touched your deepest core, your true nature.
It could happen anywhere: while you’re taking a walk in the forest, while working in the garden, witnessing a sunset, praying or meditating, making love, watching your children play, looking in your lover’s eyes, or even while dreaming. Maybe you won a certain competition, ran into an old friend, or met a wonderful new person.

It could have been a grand pompous moment, or something inside yourself that nobody else knows about.
Now write down some of these moments, 3 or 4 of them, and write especially the feelings you had during these moments. What did you experience? Lightness, love, a sense of belonging, the feeling that everything was good and beautiful? Put yourself again in one of these moments, by your imagination and souvenir, and feel the experience as if you were in it again.

This was your real you. This IS your real you!

Look at these moments : what did you do, with whom, where and how, that made you feel so wonderful, so very much yourself? Try to find the common element in these moments.
It’s pretty much like discovering the ingredients of a very good tasting bread.

What are the elements coming back in every of these magic moments? Does it always involve children, or elder people? Did you every time display a lot of courage or perseverance? Did these moments always occur while you were performing on stage, or working intellectually on a great project, or taking care of disabled people, or working with animals?

Try to find the ingredients of your success moments. Notice the environment in which they occurred,  the feelings you experienced, what kind of people were around you, what you were doing, which talents you used, and if you needed courage, perseverance, faith, inner strength or another vertue.

Once you know the ingredients that made your moments of success, you can create those experiences again, on purpose.

Those “perfect moments” do not happen by accident. At these moments you were just perfectly aligned at your mission on earth. You were at the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing with the right people. This feeling of “rightness” gives you satisfaction and shows you how important it is to be on track with your mission.

On the other hand, when you are at the wrong place, the wrong time, doing the wrong thing with the wrong people, you feel awful. I’m sure you remember some of those moments. Terrible you felt, isn’t it?

To avoid those awful feeling, you should spend some time looking at your life to point out the perfect moments and to find out the common element, in order to be able to create those moments on purpose, as much as you like.

What does it take for YOU to be happy?
Repeat those moments on purpose! This will give you a feeling of mastery. This will transform you from a lost, depressed person into the captain of your soul! You would possess the success formula of your life and be able to create success moments as you like.
If you want to find out WHO you are and WHY you are here, don’t search any longer but find your answers right here: “What is the purpose of your life?”

source http://tasboy.com/your-personal-happiness-formula/

ATTRACT LOVE INTO YOUR LIFE YOU CAN DO A LOT TO FEEL LOVED.

So many people are complaining about the lack of love in their life. They act as if some stranger decided one day to take away the love out of their lives.

They hold on to lovers already gone since eternity, or they dream about a partner coming into their life to give them everything they are not able to give themselves. They balance between hope and desperation. They look for love outside themselves and believe one day a charming prince on a white horse will knock at the door and take them away to live for ever happy in a castle far away from reality.

Other people are trying to survive in a bad relationship that holds their greatness hostage. They live in fear and anger every day but don’t know how to get out of this prison.

Do you know such people? Does this sound like you? Do you feel lonely, are you dreaming of the right one who will show up one day and end all the misery you’re going through now?

The bad news is this will not happen.
The good news is YOU can do a lot yourself to feel loved.

Let me explain.

Life is like a building. There are a lot of floors : the ground floor, the cellar, the first floor, second floor and so on. The higher you go in the building, the more light there is, the easier and lighter things are, the more friendly and energetic people are, the higher are the vibrations and most of all : the more love there is.

Picture this building of life in your mental eye. In the cellar you will find people like rapers, thiefs, harassers, killers, people who beat their children or companion and others who made a life out of hurting others.

On the groundfloor you will find a lot of people. In fact most of humanity lives here. These are the ones who content themselves by vegetating instead of living. They don’t think by themselves, they undergo life. They do nothing.

They live like robots. They go to their job every day, come home every day, watch the same television program every day with a beer in one hand and a hotdog in the other hand. They do not dream. They are stuck in their lifestyle and think everything will always be the same.

Then you go up. As I said, the higher you get, the easier, the lighter life is. Life IS easy, life IS light. The cellar, groundfloor and lower floors are creations from the human mind. We created these lifestyles by our heavy thoughts, thoughts about scarcity, fear, death, anger, sadness, revenge and so on. Here are the lives of those who choose to think low energy thoughts.

Those who live in fear, hate, jealousy, doubts, low self esteem, troubles. Those have bad relationships, where struggle and anger and negativity set the tone.

They are not happy. They maintain the illusion everything is someone else’s fault and they have either to wait for the other to change, so their life will change, or they have to destroy the other one to have a better life (think of the one who kills the husband of the woman he wants to live with, or those who kill other minded people in order to be free to live like they want). This will never give freedom or love.

So what to do if you want to move up in that building of life and live free and in love?

First you have to make a decision. Yes, you have to decide WHERE you want to be. On which floor do you want to live your life now?

Is it the cellar? No, I don’t think so. Is is the groundfloor? I don’t think it either. Let’s say you want to be at the 17th floor. But you feel you are at this moment in your life at the 3rd floor only. You hate your job, you have a lousy relationship with your partner, you’re in bad shape and your energy is low.

So you decided you wanted a life in the vibration of the 17th floor, where there is love, real friendship, positive expectations, inner strength, power, a job you like, health and wealth.

What to do? You decided where you want to be. What you will do now? Should you wait until someone will knock on your door to take you there? No way! Will never happen! Even if you would meet someone with an energy level of 17, he will never carry you from the 3rd to the 17th floor, because he will be exhausted. It needs to be YOUR decision and YOUR action!!

So YOU have to move yourself up. How? Read! Read more! Read how you can create your life by changing your thoughts and your behavior! Go to workshops where you can learn how to unleash you inner power. Use the wonderful information bank which is called Internet and which offers you a bunch of positive information and e-courses (often for free). Surround you with loving people. Learn how to love yourself.

So first you decide where you want to be. Than you do whatever you can to get there, on your own. You may ask help of course, you may find yourself a coach (which is really a good decision!) but don’t look for somebody to carry you. You will fall down immediately the moment he puts you down. If you didn’t get there by yourself, it won’t last, it is not worth anything because you moved yourself up with somebody else’s energy and you are depending on his energy.

Once you get at the floor of your choice, let’s say 17, you will meet automatically people who vibrate at this level of energy. Energy-17 people. Loving, caring, wonderful people. People who feel good about themselves and who don’t need others to steal their energy. They learned how to generate energy by themselves. They are not slaves. They are not dominators. They love and respect others.

Do you want to meet someone like that? Do you want to share your life with somebody who has a 17-energy (or more)? Go there! Go at their level and you will meet them, that’s a guarantee!
Move yourself up!

If you live in a bad relationship right now, and you do whatever you can to get yourself moving higher, you will see what will happen. Your partner, who is still vibrating on energy 3 or 2 or on cellar-level won’t be able to follow you and you will take separate roads.
Don’t make the mistake of trying to pull someone up who wants to stay at his low level. You will never succeed.

Especially women should be aware of this : don’t spoil your energy at trying to get others moving up with you. It’s a waste of time. Everybody should decide for himself. Don’t carry others on your back, you will crack down! Decide for yourself, go for it, and see what

happens. The higher you get in energy-levels, the better it will be. There you will agree with me : life is wonderful!

source http://tasboy.com/attract-love-into-your-life-you-can-do-a-lot-to-feel-loved/