1. Do Not Show Him Your Jealousy
I know it’s the hardest thing ever, but you have to do it, even if you are jealous out of your mind.
Why?
Because showing him you are jealous about any other relationship he has, proves to him that you don’t trust him .
More importantly, it shows him that you don’t believe YOU are the one he chose .
And most importantly, it shows him you don’t think much of yourself . That you are insecure. That you don’t believe in yourself.
And that’s the ultimate attraction destroyer.
If YOU don’t know your self-worth, how is HE supposed to know?
Throwing jealousy fits is literally pushing him away from you, probably to the arms of any other girl.
He’ll do anything to be able to breaconstantly
2. Don’t Make Assumptions
Don’t make assumptions about his relationship with her, and about her plans for him.
Remember the law of attraction?
What you focus on – grows bigger .
You literally attract the things you resist and are afraid of – into your life.
Even if they text all day, and even if he hangs out with her a lot – do not assume that he is attracted to her.
Do not assume that he complains about you when you have a fight.
Do not assume she wants to sabotage your relationship.
Assume this instead:
1. I’m probably going to like all the things he likes about her too. She is probably a nice person – maybe we can be friends too?
2. It’s so good he can have a female perspective when we have a problem, or when he misunderstands me.
3. He chose me. He is in love with ME. I believe it with all my heart.
4. He is worthy of my trust. He has been there for me when I needed him. He has helped me in so many ways.
5. I love him just the way he is. I don’t need to change anything about him.
Doesn’t that feel better?
Assume THAT, instead of what you’ve assumed before.
3. Regain Your Confidence
Once you’re able to calm yourself down a bit, it’s time for some positive affirmations.
Why?
Because if you fear “the competition” (which she isn’t, by the way) – it means that you forgot your self-worth. You forgot who you really are, and you forgot why he fell in love with YOU.
Once you regain your confidence, it’ll change your entire behavior and it will change what you “transmit” to your boyfriend.
You don’t want to send him a message saying:
I’m not worthy of you. I have to fight for my place. You like her better than me. I need you to prove your love to me constantly
You want to send him a message:
I know my worth. I love my self. I’m confident. I know there’s no one else like me. I trust you and believe that you love me with all your heart
Believing in these last statements will remind him, daily, that his girlfriend is a confident, trusting woman that loves him and trusts him and everything he does.
There’s nothing more attractive than that.
Use some of these most fun & romantic couple games to play at home alone – to keep his attention on YOU!
4. Don’t Ignore Her or Be Mean To Her
Your first instinct, the defensive instinct, maybe to avoid her and ignore her entire existence.
Or:
You may want to be mean to her to “show her who she’s dealing with”.
That’s a huge mistake.
It will make her defensive as well and may make her say some negative stuff about you. When pushed to a corner, she will fight back.
You don’t want to start a war.
Instead, try to get to know her. Hang out with the two of them and show an interest in their friendship.
Again, this will help you remember your worth, and both your boyfriend and she will know they have nothing to hide in front of you.
Don’t try to make your boyfriend stop liking her.
The more you try, the more he will like her. No one likes to be told how to feel.
5. Boyfriend Female Friend Boundaries
This tip goes against any other advice you’ll read anywhere else:
DON’T set boundaries.
Boundaries are useless.
They are fake.
Here’s why:
If your boyfriend wants to spend most of his time with his BFF instead of you – boundaries won’t help.
People put boundaries so they can safely ignore what’s really going on.
Let’s say he agrees to not see her more than he sees you.
Does it mean that he doesn’t WANT to see her as much as he did before?
No.
It means that he is doing it for YOU.
But deep inside he still wants to see her just as much as before. Only now he resents you for not doing what he wants.
So, what can you do if they like to do sleepovers and text all day?
Boundaries, in this case, are ridiculous.
You have to open your eyes and see what’s really going on.
This may be a sign that he is on his way out , or cheating, or losing interest in your relationship.
Wouldn’t you rather face the truth than pushing it under the carpet with boundaries?i
source http://tasboy.com/what-do-you-do-when-your-mans-best-friend-is-a-female-2/
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