Tips for a happy marriage

Good marriages are a lot of work. Most people don’t want to hear that. Many couples are in La La Land when they marry. But a marriage needs to have two people who really want the marriage to succeed in order for it to last for the long-term and involve two happy people. Here’s a list of tips that will help married couples have long and happy marriages:

1) Be Honest With Each Other

Some people think that making the other person happy is the best plan in a marriage. But eventually, if you are always giving in to the other person’s wishes, while shoving your own wants and needs under the rug, resentment will build up inside you. Whether it be major decisions such as whether or not your spouse should take a new job and move the two of you out of state, to smaller things, like what restaurant to eat in, be honest with your spouse.
Of course there may be times you truly don’t care, and at those times it’s fine to let your partner decide. But being honest with your spouse is one of the best ways to have a healthy relationship. As a precaution here, let me just say that being too honest so that you hurt someone’s feelings is not a good plan. If someone asks how you look in a certain shirt or blouse, you can actually phrase it in a way that won’t hurt feelings. A statement such as, “It’s definitely not the best color for you” is much better than saying, “You look so pale it looks like you’re a corpse!”

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2) Communication Is Important in a Healthy Marriage

What does communication between a married couple actually mean? Don’t they live together and talk to e
ach other every day? Well, maybe but communication in a happy and healthy marriage needs to go further than, ’Please pass the butter” or ”Can I have the Sports section of the newspaper?” Two people are in a marriage together so both should be able to discuss their wants and needs.

Open communication is a very good thing. It could be about their hopes and dreams, or it could be talking about ways to live together more peacefully. It should definitely include some discussions about money because money issues are often the cause most often link to marital discord. Some people get aggravated by their spouse for years, and never bring it up. Then when they announce they want a divorce and the spouse asks why, they give them a whole laundry list of things they have done wrong over the years.

Husbands and wives should love each other enough to be able to talk about these issues as they arise. This is another situation where things can fester and build up over the years if not discussed during the time they are happening. If a spouse has a hard time with confrontation, plan a weekly or monthly family meeting time where husband and wife sit down together and air anything that’s bothering them. Does it bother you when he leaves clothes hanging out of his top drawer, or leaves his dirty clothes on the bathroom floor for you to pick up? Does it bother you when she leaves her make up containers out all over the bathroom counter, or leave the kitchen cupboard doors open and you knock your head on them? Discuss issues as they arise so they don’t become mountains in your marriage when they started out as mole hills.

3) Variety Is the Spice of Life

And no, I am not talking about just in the bedroom, although variety there is important too. It’s healthy for married couples to experience new things together. Doing the same types of things every week, or every year can be very boring. And boring is not healthy for a marriage. To get out of the rut of the same activities and routines, find a new vacation destination every year. Try a new restaurant at least once a month.

If money is an issue, try new experiences together. Playing a new board game, taking up a new sport, finding a new trail to hike on, or learning a new dance can keep the spice in a relationship. Couples will bond over these new experiences and they will have new things to talk about. Couples who experience new activities will always have new things to look forward to together.

4) Find Interesting Ways to Show That You Care

There are lots of ways to show a husband or wife that they are important to you or that you are thinking about them. It could be texting or emailing them during the day when you are both at work. This is especially important if your spouse is having a stressful day or week, or has a big meeting coming up. Leaving a love note on the bathroom mirror or in their car before you leave for work will be nice surprise.

Another great surprise would be to bring home a cup of their favorite coffee on a Saturday morning. Or make a meal or dessert you know they would love. A nice surprise for a spouse will always bring a smile to their face and make their day brighter. And will bring back that spark that was there in the beginning of a relationship.

5) Don’t Try to Change Your Husband or Wife

It has been said that many women marry a man with the thought that they will change him after they get married. A wise woman will know it’s better to accept the man she loves as he is. If he drops his dirty socks on the floor constantly, that won’t change if the wife nags him daily to pick them up. And men usually go into a marriage thinking their wives will accept them for who they are and be happy.

A man would be wise to try to make some considerations to make his wife happy. If a husband knows it really bothers his wife that he drops his socks on the floor, he will probably make an effort to pick them up. If two people really care about each other, they will both accept each other and keep the other person’s happiness in mind. With this in mind, a man may make some changes if he knows it will make his wife happy. But it will be best if it’s his own choice and a nagging wife will only cause resenOther

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