Your boyfriend says he loves you deeply and, at the same time, he appears to be vulnerable. You fall for it, and happily take on the role of protector. He may well be insecure but watch out for emotional manipulation. If you find yourself modifying your own behavior in order to keep him happy, he’s controlling you. Sometimes he may even hint at harming himself in order to keep you tied to him.
He becomes distant or mean when you tell him you’re going out with your friends or seeing your family. Controlling people hate it when they are left out of your social plans. He will either withdraw his affection, or become critical of your friends and their behavior. His aim is to remove you from your support network.
He puts down your efforts to do anything without him. Let’s say you are savvy enough to service your own car, or change a tire, or do a bit of DIY around the apartment. A controlling boyfriend will find fault or ridicule your work.
This saps your confidence and self-worth.
Constant criticism is another way to undermine and make you feel less-than. He might tell you that he just wants you to be a better person, but the ultimate aim is to make you feel small.
He places conditions on his love… “If only you lost a little weight…” or “You could be more sexy if you dressed like…” This causes you to strive to make yourself fit his ideal picture of you. It never works because there will always be something or someone for him to compare you with.
He makes you feel guilty. It might be combined with any of the behaviors detailed above, and the outcome is that you feel guilty because you can’t live up to his demanding standards.
He spies on you. It is so easy to place a hidden app on your phone and it only takes a couple of minutes when you are out of the room. You’ll never know it’s there, yet he can monitor your calls, texts, emails and location remotely. Tell-tale signs of this is that he knows things that you haven’t told him. Or he questions where you’ve been.
He accuses you of two-timing him. He’ll take an innocent encounter, let’s say he sees you smile and say thanks at the gas station. Next thing, you’ll be accused of having an affair with the cashier. This shows how paranoid he’s becoming.
He makes fun of you, which can be funny enough to make you laugh, especially if in front of other people, but leaves a slightly bitter taste. You wonder if his jokes might hold a grain of truth. Again it’s a drain on your confidence. Know that he is bullying you.
He won’t let you hold a point of view that’s different to his. You’ll be interrupted or find that he’s not listening to you. That your perspective is worthless and invalid.
He constantly makes suggestions about what you should do, wear, eat, speak and, well, everything. They sound like suggestions but in reality, they are instructions. Should you go against them, he’ll be angry or withdraw his affection and take great delight in saying, “I told you so,” later.
He drains your bank account. Oh not obviously, but somehow you end up with less money than you should. Perhaps he manipulates your finances so that you are paying out more than he does. Your ‘half’ also becomes his. There’ll always be a reason why he can’t afford to pay a bill or get you a decent birthday gift.
source http://tasboy.com/heres-why-he-is-controlling-you/
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